Bed Stretches for Old People

As a vegan who lives in the San Francisco bay area, I’m surrounded by people who prioritize exercise, self-care, and healthy eating. It’s not that I don’t care about my health, but in comparison to my friends, I am a gluttonous lazy ass.

A main reason that I don’t prioritize exercise is that it’s honestly zero fun. There’s only so much free time in a day, and I would just rather spend those precious moments doing things I like.

So, fact 1 about Robin is that she hates exercise.

The only thing I do (besides walking my dog) that could remotely be referred to as semi-fitness related is bed yoga. What? You haven’t heard of bed yoga? Weirrrrrd. That might be because I made it up, but I can’t possibly be the first person to think of this brilliant activity. I’ll give you a little background on what bed yoga is, in case you haven’t already figured it out.

I wanted to try yoga so that I could become more flexible. I wasn’t doing it for strength or meditation, which I guess are reasons other people do yoga. It all started when I went to a Pokémon Go workout hosted by Holly and Ed at their vegan gym in Oakland. We were doing some stretches before our workout started, and I was the only one there who couldn’t touch my toes.

Holly mentioned that she stretches while watching TV, and my ears perked up, because I’m a huge fan of multitasking. It’s a win-win-win. (I threw an extra win in there in case I ever manage to do three things at once. I’m not sure how successful I would be at that, but I can’t wait to try.)

Fact 2 about Robin is that I’m super into multitasking.

It just feels so damn productive to get multiple things accomplished simultaneously. For instance, I’m multitasking right now. I’m driving to the airport to pick up David, and at the same time, I’m dictating this post into my phone, in hopes that it will save me time later (aka, in hopes that I’ll actually post it and it won’t just sit on my trello board under the blog ideas section for the rest of eternity).

Bed yoga is my version of Holly’s suggestion. I have a yoga app called yoga studio (I think), and you can customize your yoga workout. So, I made a custom workout for myself that only includes poses that you can do sitting, kneeling, or laying down in bed. This yoga workout is great if you’re watching TV. However, lately I haven’t had time to watch TV, and I’ve been just spending every night at my computer doing blogging, pinterest, emails, etc.

So, being the lazy multitasker that I am, I decided I needed to find some stretches that I can do while I’m in bed on my laptop. I’m sharing my bed-blogging-workout with you, in hopes that someone else can benefit from all the time I spent putting it together.

I wish I had pictures for every pose, but since I don’t, I’ll do my best to explain every move. (I don’t want to steal pictures from the Internet, because I might’ve gotten sued for doing that at work. Let’s not bring that up again. It’s still a touchy subject.)

Pose 1: Sukhasana

Sit cross-legged with a straight back.

Pose 2: Crossed Leg Forward Bend

From sitting cross-legged with a straight back, start pushing your laptop out in front of you while you bend over so that your chest is almost touching the bed.

Pose 3: Seated Bend

From sitting cross-legged, stretch one leg out straight, keeping your back as straight as possible. Start bending forward as much as you comfortably can, which for me is like an inch because I’m VERY out of shape (hence needing to research these bed stretches, haha.)

Repeat this with your other leg.

Pose 4: Wide Angle Seated Forward Bend

Stretch both legs out straight, making a V, (your laptop is between your legs) and keep your back as straight as possible. I realize the picture shows someone doing the splits, but if you’re anything like me, you’ll be doing a V and working your way up to that splits eventually. Start bending forward as much as you comfortably can, which for me is like an inch (see reason above).

Pose 5: Pigeon

Please don’t give up when you see this picture! Just pay attention to what she’s doing with her front leg, not her back leg. Your back leg can extend straight out behind you. This is probably my favorite stretch, and is definitely part of my bed yoga routine. Fold your body over your front bent leg, pushing your laptop out in front of you.

Exchange legs and do this on the other side.

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